Is one's character defined by context?

Early on in my childhood I had wondered what makes a person ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Can a God-fearing Christian, who is “good” in every way, become “evil” if he/she commits an act of sin? As I grew older I began to realize that mortality is much more complex than simply ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and that like experiences can have a great impact on one’s notion of this matter.
My name is Kris Mercer. I am a slightly privileged boy of 17 who studies hard in hopes of becoming the son my parents are so determined to see. I work part-time at a local grocery store-Freshco. I got up from bed one morning to the sounds of birds cheerfully chirping at their highest pitches, and the wind blowing very serenely in the small town of Hanverst.
This town, like any other, has its share of drunks, thieves, rich people, poor people and those in the middle. I would describe my family as being in the latter position, though my grandfather from my mother’s side of the family is said to have been a very wealthy man who even had servants at his command. He wasted all his money however, on the pleasures of life, leaving his children with no inheritances.
As I was saying, I got up from bed on this particular morning to a bright, beautiful day, unaware of what would be disclosed to me before dusk. I got ready, ate breakfast, which my mother had so lovingly prepared for once, and headed out to school.
I got to the Illyrian Academy, a high school for privileged children whose parents want only the only the best education for the so-called “leaders of tomorrow.” My parents, though not having a great deal of money, worked overtime so that they could send me to this school in hopes that I could acquire a good start for my future career as a hopeful surgeon. I still marvel at how my parents were able to afford to pay my monthly tuition. Thinking back, they gave me numerous opportunities to learn, despite not always being financially stable. They also taught me most of what I know to be valuable life lessons. Those were some of the richest moments of my life. The most defining moment of my life, however, took place on this ordinary day, which initially didn’t seem to have any significance whatsoever.
As I walked into the schoolyard, I could hear the engines of my peers’ cars—luxuries which were so easily afforded by their parents. And while walking towards my locker I could smell the faint odour of pricey hairspray and sweet perfume gloomily hanging in the air: another sign that wealthy children walk these halls. To the left of my locker was the locker of a rich boy named Matt Crock. He didn’t talk much and was often secluded from the rest of the horde. To the right of my locker was that of the beautiful and absolutely striking Keira Soren, who I’d lustily admired since middle school. We were once quite close you know; but upon reaching high school, I began focusing more on my lessons and made schoolwork my priority whereas cheerleading was hers. In the case of any other girl, I wouldn’t be so understanding, as cheerleading doesn’t exactly qualify one for a rewarding career, but Keira did it so gracefully that even the harshest critics would find it difficult to criticize her. Her sheer passion and chasteness in whatever she did had a strange pull on me.
This morning however, Keira seemed to have abandoned her normally blissful and optimistic attitude and took on a rather daunting one. Little did I know that she had broken up with the captain of the rugby team, Troy, whom she had been dating for over a year. Troy is a tall but surprisingly muscular individual who did not do so well academically and probably figured sports was his way to establish a place for himself in the history of “our generation.” I had always hated Troy, perhaps out of sheer jealousy for his handsome figure, and his expensive cars which he seemed to damage almost every weekend; but most importantly, his possession of Keira- that doesn’t make me a bad person does it? I’ve always been a good guy. Every friend of my parents’ used to tell me things like: “you’re such a nice boy Kris, not like the ones we see these days.” I guess being told this constantly made me believe that I truly possessed a righteous character and would not succumb to evildoings. I still wondered whether there was a straight line between ‘righteous’ and ‘wicked’ , or between ‘good’ and ‘bad’. These questions continued to plague my thoughts as I began to question my character about every lie, mistake, or negative thought that I could perpetrate. I constantly asked myself if there truly is a separation between ‘good’ and ‘bad’; would I be a ‘bad’ person for making mistakes. After lengthy consideration I became more open to asking others their opinion of this seemingly mind-boggling question. When I asked the priest of my church he provided nothing more than a bunch of riddles which I never did understood- but would soon learn the hard way.
He said: “think about this way my son, if a man robbed a bank, would you consider him a bad person?”
I readily replied: “yes!”
Then he nodded and said very well, then added: “what if that same man committed this robbery because his family would have starved otherwise. Would you still consider him a bad person?”
I soon answered, “No, because he only did it so that he could feed his family.” He then exited in a mysterious manner as all priests do.
But where was I? As Keira walked towards her locker, I couldn’t stand watching her so cheerless. Ignoring the newfound barrier due to our social strata I said: “Are you feeling well Keira?” Surprised, she replied, “why do you care, you haven’t talked to me in years,” with an icy edge.
That hurt. Feeling shame I said: “Well it’s a little hard to talk to you when you’re constantly guarded by jocks from the rugby team.”
Having lost her edge she responded softly: “That’s not gonna be a problem anymore.”
Anxious and a little relived I inquired, “what do you mean?”
“I mean I broke up with Troy last night.”
“Really, sorry to hear that,” trying to mask my true feelings I silently jumped for joy deep inside.
“You don’t seem that sorry for me.”
“I really am,” I said defensively, “truthfully, I really don’t think he’s the right guy for you.”
“Who is”. She said. “I’m starting to feel like I’ll never meet the right guy.”
“You might not know it yet, but he might be under your nose and you haven’t realized it”, I cunningly replied. I felt a little ghastly telling her this after she had just broken up with Troy but it was something that I needed to say. After all, time was short; we only had a month before we headed our separate ways post-graduation.
Holding her hand gently I said, “If you ever need to talk to anyone about anything, even cheerleading, I’ll be here to listen.” As she was about to reply, a sharp pain interrupted my thoughts. I felt the inside of my cheek scrape against my teeth, drawing blood. I stumbled backwards, tripping over my own feet. The sheer shock of the blow knocked me backwards. Having never been struck before, I experienced a very uneasy feeling of vulnerability.
In a fit of anger, he screamed: “get your fucking hands off her!” I scrambled to right myself while Keira tried to explain to him that they were no longer dating, and that he should stop harassing her. Incensed, Troy pushed her into one of the lockers with such brute force that some students later admitted that they had heard the echo from the opposite hall. Hearing her scream, everything became clear to me. I had to do something, whatever it was, to stop Troy. Burning with anger and a cold resentment, I pulled out my work knife, a blade so clean that one could see their own reflection, and stabbed Troy in the chest. In pain, he forcefully clutched the knife to stop the bleeding and soon fell unconscious.
The long-awaited answer which I had been curiously searching for had been answered. No matter how righteous one may seem or try to believe they are, they can still commit acts which make them no less ‘evil’ than a criminal. Being a naïve boy of 17, I discovered these truths by experience. After three years in a juvenile correction center, and further probation, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that one’s character can be molded by their subconscious to fit a specific context. Being so innocent all my life, I never thought that I’d be the one to stab and kill another human being.
I will return to writing this letter at a later time as Keira is supposed to visit soon. Thinking about it now, the terrifying incidents which occurred at the Illyrian Academy on this ordinary day drew me and Keira closer together as she realized that I would go to any length to protect her. Our relationship grows stronger everyday and I can’t wait to get out of probation so we can finally have an intimate relationship.